schoolgirl said...
why r u leaving????? we're gonna miss you here. btw, I think if ud get a job u wouldnt feel like u have to get anywhre (you wouldnt be so bored). and i say that in the nicest way possible.
vintage jeans said...
I would have gotten a job except I can't see myself doing a 9 to 5 that has no future in it. My goal and aspiration is to one day become a shliach. The thing that would make the most sense for me to do would be working in something which would help me to reach and achieve that goal. That's why it made the most sense for me to come home where I would be able to, 1) study and learn- every Rabbi has to be well versed, 2) help a Shliach in the area- giving me experience and doing something that I enjoy and 3) date- before you settle down it is-I think- best to do it with a partner.
The sad facts are, learning is very difficult to do at my age, especially when your the only one in your social circle interested in it. It's a lot harder to get a decent job at a decent Shliach in the New York area then I had imagined. Basically my life has come down to me waiting to get hitched, a very sad state to live in, don't you think? In short that's the main reason why I didn't get a job and why I'm getting out of here. We'll discuss it in more detail in person.
Is there anybody out there who can relate to what I'm talking about? I can't be the only one experiencing this struggle. I may not be a product of the system, but I'm certainly a byproduct and the system does assist in creating the issue.
I don't feel that I'm fully articulating my thoughts, my keyboard is broken and I have to type with my On-screen keyboard.
posted by vintage jeans @ 9:21 AM
41 comments
41 Comments:
i see ur point. and im not in ur position, so i cant imagine how hard it must be. maybe u could find some temporary volunteer work or someting?? just a random thought.
p.s. i love the pic!!
R u in school?
Nope, but why wold I be in school. When you say school I assume your referring to college.
Why would you not be in school? According to what you are saying, you are sitting around and waiting. Since when is there time to wait? Why dont you take the opportunity of being single and using it to the ultimate? This is a problem I see with so many young adults within the community. Sitting around and waiting. Hopefully not but you might be waiting for a long time, why not make something of yourself while you can. That way if it is a long time, it wont be waiting time, and at least you will be happy with whatever it is you are doing.
i see why vintage doesnt wanna go to school. college is a place that can totally mess up your hashkafos, and now is not the time to play around with those. especially if he plans on going on shlichus after marriage, which he says he does, college is not the right place for him to be.
were also told we should use out these years for torah study, while the brain is still young and sponge-like (i couldnt think of a better word!!).
which apparently hes not doing. If thats the way he feels about college there is plenty of other ways he can use his time and DO something rather then just sit around and wait...
true, maybe he should put more time into learning. or like i said before, maybe get some one-time jobs/voluteer work. either way, i agree he shouldnt be sitting around waiting. we are always taught that every second could be used to make the world a better place, and taht every stage and situation of life that u are in, you could, and should, make a difference.
btw, vintage, dont we love how we sit around and discuss your life??
: )!!!!
Hey guys, hope you don't mind if I break into the conversation here. Schoolgirl, you put it down pretty accurately. The feelings of frustration in the fact that I feel like all I'm doing is sitting around and waiting is a rather new sentiment which has been steadily increasing since I began dating (I have a theory for that as well).
I am opposed to going to college, even a college like Touro, because I feel that it would put me in a different frame of mind, create a paradigm shift in my general outlook of things, and not because of the more liberal minded professors, or the part of the syllabus that are pre-requisites for any major. But by simply being in school, my focus will change.
Going to school will narrow my chances of going on shlichus to probably half of what it is now.
I'm not saying education isn't good, I happen to be very pro-learning, even studying something which may not actually come to practical use in any future plans- I'm currently studying thru a correspondence program- but I don't think college is the answer for me.
BTW I already bought a one way ticket to San Diego; I'll be leaving in 2 weeks. I spoke to the shliach and he seemed very happy to hear that I was coming and was already coming up with ideas of projects that I can get involved with.
If Diego doesn't work tickets to Hawaii are relatively cheap from CA.
Life’s journeys continue.
Settling down is not easy or fun. I don't see a reason to do it right now, and when she comes along I'll have a reason and I won't be doing it alone.
I'm still free baby.
how r u gonna date in san diego?? unless theres some californian chick we dont know about???? ;)
Zdrastvoyti!
I can't comment on your love life, but I can say hello. So, hello.
Hey Dovid, it was good seeing you.
I don't believe for a second that you don't have an opinion on "love", or anything else for that matter. Based on your writings, you seem to be well versed on your readings and getting hitched is a large part of most literature. As Rabbi Jacobson explains, life is all about relationships, G-d-man, man-man and woman-man, but I can understand if you’re not interested at this point of your life in investing energy in it.
Well schoolgirl its like I explained, dating will no longer be the focal point in my life, but I have thought of it and the truth is I'm not committed to anything in CA and coming back is just a jetblue ticket away.
My question is, being that you would like to get married, doesn't it make sense for you to get a job? I do belive that Shlichus is a great thing, unfortunatly its very hard to come by these days. I have married friends who have been waiting two years, and are still in Crown Heights. Marriage (now I'm just assuming here (: ) just like all other things is difficult or an adjustmant. You have to get used to each other. The last thing a newly married couple wants to be worried about is parnosah. Also I belive that every man should learn, and if learning means so much to you, it is very feasable that you can work, and have a job. Because it is something important to you, i'm sure you'd make all the more an effort. You don't have to have the best job in the world, just something that will pay the bills.
Wow what a rant! Must have been the coffe I spilled at washington Mutual
Hey RBR, jump aboard the ramble train. You address a couple of good points, I'll respond to them later. Right now I've got to put on my snow clothes and find a good snowball fight!
This snowis crazy! check out my blog for some fun pics later on tonight!
Vintage.. sounds like your going through the "in between cycle" and I'm proud of you for not caving into the pressures of society and doing something that you don't enjoy and doesn't help you grow as a person.. and after much thought, i think what you are doing would fall into the category of being proactive and I wish you the most success and I'm sure it will all work out greeeat!!
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
RBR, it's good to see you took advantage of the beautiful day, I'll respond now to your questions.
1) The commitment to shlichus comes along with a commitment to a more ascetic lifestyle, meaning the focus of life is placed more on the spiritual then the physical. Not only am I not concerned about one or two years of financial difficulties, but I'm prepared and ready for a life time of possible lack of physical comforts. I hope that the person I end up marrying will share similar sentiments regarding this issue, warding off possible problems.
2) I read a letter of the Rebbe regarding a Bochor who wanted to work to make sure he had money before marriage. The Rebbe responded to the effect that the Jew works not to "make a living," but only to fashion a keli ("vessel") to receive G-d's blessings. And it's stated that a woman (a wife) is the keli for parnossa, so why don't you work on creating the keli?
3) I have some savings.
4) My parents have offered to help me out if I would like to learn in Kollel.
I think that covers all your points, you can let me know if I missed any.
Thanks for the encouragement Manhattan and it seems like I'm not the only one going through some tough decision making. Good luck to YOU!
Tod YOU know a good gift when you see one.;-)
Vintage, (what IS your name btw?)
That picture above your latest post- says it all, we all really need to be THERE- and if you find a cheap ticket let me know- I'm coming!
Actually I think I lived under your parents like 4 years back for like 2 months, when i first moved to NY. initials L.E.?
hey thankx for posting on my Blog... you really got a cool one. Where's the pic taken of the guy blowing the Madd Horn????
imfullofit: your so right thats the probelm in the world, people think oh shlichus etc. and you'll be able to support your family and thats so not true. There is nothing worng in doing both shlichus and business or work and there are alot of shlichum that do that and if thats how your going to support your family the well good luck dont just think that its going to come from G-D etc etc.
Thankx for posting good topic.
Hey all, apologies for lack of updated posts. I hope to post tomorrow; I'm working on formulating the idea.
Was anybody else at the wedding tonight? I’m after a shower, 2 Tylenol and a big cup of chamomile tea and I’m still hearing banging in my head. I think the music might have been a tad too loud. I did have a blast though.
Thanks for posting Leah. You can refer to me as Vintage, or Vintage Jeans, whichever you prefer. They just had a deal for Israir flights, one way tickets for $150 after taxes a round trip ticket was $430. I would have loved to have gone, but I didn't have anyone to go with and going alone is to nostalgic for me.
RBR, I'm back to trying to stay as anonymous as possible, I'm afraid it inhibits creativity.
Yo Stoner, I love your name! The picture with the black guy with the huge horn was taken in South Africa; I think it was in Gold Reef City.
imfullofit, I wouldn't discourage someone who would like to do both, learn and try to make money, or learn a profession, but this is not the time for ME to worry about parnassa, scroll up to my previous comment and see point 2. I believe G-d will take care of me.
"Open for me an opening the size of a needle and I will open for you an opening the size of the ulom"(a huge doorway in the Beis Hamikdash).
In no way is this to be taken as criticism for those who aren't married and are now involved in trying to make a living.
It's what I need.
vintage.. I think comments that long may constitute as a new post..
I like new posts to be a new idea, or at least a new approach to an old idea.:-)
Thats actually kind of funny, when you made this post from a previous commenter
I hear ya, but still, old topic, new idea.
The point of the previous post was me trying to run away from reality and where to run to.
The point of this post was to discuss the difficulties involved in the "waiting stages".
Ha, imfullofit I should have left it as one post I would have had 42 comments.
I have noticed that most people who comment later on don't go through all the previous comments and end up repeating many points.
Roz, welcome and thanks for commenting. I couldn't agree with you more.
VJ, first of all, thanks for calling my attention back to this post. Now, sure I have feelings and opinions etc. about love. But don't know enough about you or your love life to comment on them.
Well Roz, just because I agree with you that we should focus on the positives of single hood and take advantage of the moment, does not mean that there aren’t struggles and hardships that come along with it, especially when your also in midst of dating and trying to find your life’s partner.
I'm going to Cali next week. :-)
Sorry bombshelle, I've seen those before, but with better questions. Boy oh boy did I get some people upset...
Enjoy the email.
Woohoo bombshelle, this is the first time I've ever experienced, blog flirt, in fact, it's the first time I've ever seen blog flirt.
I'm telling you; very soon, people are going to be dating on the internet.
Dad: How did it go?
Vintage: I don't know, not really feeling it.
Dad: Why? What's wrong?
Vintage: For one her punctuation.
Dad: What’s wrong with it?
Vintage: Well, it stinks. She was putting apostrophe’s everywhere. No commas. And don't get me started on spelling.
Dad: You think maybe you'll give it one more chance?
Vintage: Um, she said she doesn’t want to go out again.
Dad: Why not?
Vintage: She thinks I'm a slow typer.
Who says life can't get more complicated?
People have been 'dating' on the internet for years already
Bombshelle, enjoyed the applause, but I don't think so.
Yes anonymous, I know it's true, it still amazes me though. Recently a close relative of mine got engaged with someone he met on frumster, but they only met on frumster, the dating was real life.
VJ & Bombshelle - just get together already! The suspence is killing me
Hmm, I'm not quite sure how to answer that.
I'm on a break?
I'm going out of town?
I don't know bombshelle?
Take your pick I guess.
Ok, I think that's enough.
Oh man, you can't delete comments!
Now you piqued my curiosity...
You got me...
You were always able to see what we couldn't. Thank G-d for the stoner vision. ;-)
;-)
Well, I guess, after what was it - 50 comments, it does get a little hard not to be repetitive. Actually, I did read all the comments and I must say vintage, I'm pretty impressed with your will and determination.
Like most have commented,sitting aound and waiting is considered a waist of time and someone who's kinda unstable. A lot of poeple sitting around waiting for such oppurtunities as the ones you await, get distracted not by fault of their own but just because after a while it seems like thats probably the only sensible solution. In my opinion, having a dream and focusing on fulfilling it is very highly looked upon. I happen to be very interested in shlichus myself and I can say that waiting around does get hard and frustrating but I beleive that waiting around can also be a very good perp. for a future in shlichus (if thats what is desired) and by involving oneself in shlichus activites during the "waiting around" time it won't be a waist of time but rather the "education" for the "career" that is wished to be achieved.
Anyhow that is all I got to say for now.
Thanks "I'm with you there", I don't recall all the particulars of the comment thread (it's been a while), but I think we're on the same page.
I just got a full time Shlichus position that I'll be starting this week.
I'm excited.
I'm hopeful.
Good luck to you!
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